rosie o'donnell was skinny in 'the flintstones' and other childhood luxuries that we'll never live again

1. we could "skip-it" in our driveways and other kids wouldn't walk by and laugh; they'd want to join.

2. the homoeroticism of he-man: master of the universe generated no controversy. we didn't get velma was a lebso and that shaggy was also baked.

3. we were scared of aliens. now we are scared of illegal aliens in the dark alleys of alphabet city armed with shanks and nothing to lose.

4. my sister could call her african-american doll, "chocolate baby" in public and be perceived as cute.

5. larisa oleyink was pretty:eesh.

6. candy with trans-fat was delicious.

7. we thought easy bake ovens actually worked. and the cakes we baked made us feel good about ourselves. now, i can spend 45 hours on a research-based ppt and feel like shit about my abilities.

8. life was so much more innocent when we didn't know how to read:


really, the only benefit i could think of is that i used to cower in fear when my grandma would tell me she was going to "take the wooden-spoon to me". now, when an old person makes the same threat i get excited about the prospect of making 200 bucks.

oh, and now that i'm old i don't look up to the stars like ravin simone and zac effron that children revere. strangely enough, i do still find myself constantly asking WWEBD- what would elizabeth berkley do? old habits die hard; and ankle tatoos fade slowly...