genesis

back when everyone was reading "perks of being a wallflower", listening to dashboard in secret and feeling sad about the dates they weren't being asked on... back when everyone had baggage and airlines weren't charging extra, i was very young. brian molko put it best: just 19, a sucker's dream. i guess i thought i had the flavour?

luckily i got out of it all without permanently scribbling any five point stars on my body (suckers). in fact, all that is left from the early to mid 2000s is a couple of dusty journals and about 4,549 kbs over at livejournal.com, which admittedly contains quite a few photo sequences inspired by bad movies like the rules of attraction and party monster. that blog, which began as a tool for garnering attention, expressing deeply-seeded emotions and exhaling subtle secrets (hay, guys i think i miiight be a gay) slowly morphed into something less serious (or more serious, depending on how you looking at things) and became a way of recording what happened during black out(s). [4 am: rode home in a shopping cart, punched in the face for trying to steal a vacuum cleaner, made out with a cop (maybe) and a bouncer (definitely) and a girl, am i pregnant, going to eat a donut, bye.] it all eventually ended, rather abruptly at that. imagine the sequence in britney spears' "lucky" where she crones out "stop" and it does.

i graduated from college, traveled for a bit, lost some beer belly and settled down (ha) in the city that never sleeps. not that i ever slept in the first place.

well, i was pre-gaming alone last friday when i had a divine vision. god spoke to me from the bottom of my dolly parton dixie stampede boot mug and told me that i needed to blog again. he did, he really did! you see, blogging has been the 'it' thing to do for about a year and a half now, since i went on my hiatus. god has told me to come back and show everyone how it is done once again. hosanna hey!

now, i don't want you to think i am big-headed or self-absorbed (i might be the last one, but if i am it's not in a bad way). i am by no means perez hilton and i don't just mean i'm not super morbidly obese. firstly, i really was chosen by god for this. i have long been a prophet of sorts. proof? i have nearly died 6 times. secondly, i have a tattoo of the internet. thirdly, my best friend also has a tattoo of the internet.

i hope this first post didn't set any sort of tone or garner any expectations. this is the prologue, the necessary nonsense. i just had to lay the pipework down.

i'll clog them later.