Knock, knock? Who is there? Batter? Batter who? Batter up and all around meat. Corn dog? Corn-doggone-it you guessed my joke

You know that eerie feeling that someone is following you? No matter how quickly you turn around you can’t seem to catch the culprit. And that similarly unsettling sister experience when a song follows you to every restaurant and bar you poke you head in only to be playing in the cab you jump in to escape it?

Well, I have been living a twisted combination of the two for the past week except it isn’t serial killer or song has been hot on my tail (and what a hot tail it is). It has been corn dogs: corn dog this, corn dog that. I will now recount all of my encounters with corn-dogs in the past 7 days.

1. SATURDAY, my apartment:United Mileage Plus catalogue recommended item on my personalized page: corn-dog maker
2. SUNDAY, my apartment: Special on corn-dogs airing at 3 AM on the Food Network.
3. TUESDAY, US Post Office: Homeless man spits what appears to be piece of corndog at me and tells my female co-worker she is a, "white whore".
4. WEDNESDAY, the internet: best friend and fellow internet celebrity, Allison Meyer, in an attempt to conceal the NSFW for nature of conversation about dildos tells me she'd like "to be at a corn-dog buffet".
5. THURSDAY, my apartment: I watch, "Troop Beverly Hills" starring Shelly Long who kind of looks like a corn-dog.
6. FRIDAY, the internet con't: best friend and fellow internet celebrity, Allison Meyer, creates an extended metaphor by backtracking to Wednesday and saying, "all the weiners. nom, nom, nom."
7. SATURDAY, Clearview Cinemas: extended joke in Universal Pictures, "Role Models" making use of a 'bagel-dog'.
8. SUNDAY, near Central Park: I give it and eat a corn-dog.